i realise i've been storing my pics in my cam & not uploading onto my comp & my blog. meh. hahaha. cos i just got my lovely lovely lappie (: which absolutely rocks. microsoft vista is love i tell you. hehehe. its 6.40 in e morning & i got back at 4 from ukbound. haha, then i've got dinner again tonight with my lse ppl. haha. i'm really loving my time with e lse ppl (: plus e fact that i've got 2 guys staying very very near me to send me home. woots. goodie goodie gumdrops.




ming & i sharing e love (: ahaha. i love my mingkie-poo!


mel's surprise farewell bash! wan lin, mel, suefaye, sharon, julia, jac, ziying & moi (:


sending mel off at e airport ): you can't see here, but we're wearing e same i <3>


my two darling darling juniors (: viola & goldfish. they gave me the loveliest gift! haha, and its super super me. i'll take a pic soon :D i love em mucho mucho.


my pri & sec sch chi tuition teacher who came to visit me!


angie baby at her farewell party. on the way to highness. hahhaha.


angie, me, sam, jon & dennet finishing up e last bit of vodka. someone's face is as red as her dress. hehee.


kaleni (: who watched hairspray with me. i'll miss this boy when he goes off to ns (i hope he survives 0_o)


watching the sunrise at the ndp area (: i love the huge ferriswheel. ain't the sky beautiful!


my daddy crossing the finish line for the 21km run -.- he had a hairline fracture halfway through e run and still finished e bloody thing. madness.

nai!!! haha. its actually ian spelt backwards. ian, jessie, me, michelle, nic & chor ming.


this is what playing games leaves you with. hahaha, thank goodness we had two very nice guys to go first & blow all e flour away :D hahaha.


the og mascots. hehee.

this is how you look after running around sentosa -.- in e bloody rain.


i love this photo of angie baby (: this was last night. we had dinner before i went for floorplay at esplanade.


two of us (:


sexy body eh (;

watched floorplay with bea last night. omg, it was so sexy i tell you. shit i want to bring that russian dancer home (bea will know who i'm talking abt, i was ogling him e wholeee night). mehehee. it brought me to tears. the performance was fabulous.


hong min! and i look bloody white & sweaty -.-


nicole (:


yangqi! haha. both nicole & yangqi are my fellow holborners :D


joyce :D she always makes funny faces :p


nicholas!


some of e lse ppl at ukbound (:

anddd. CONGRATS TO ALICIA DEAR (: mehehee.

: natural woman :: floorplay ost :

i love you kayli!!! and i'm so missing my sisters now especially at this point in time ): today i wanted to pick up e phone and give mel a call, when i realised that she's not in spore & i can't call her as easily as i want to anymore ): so i sent her a SOS sms. roars.

anyway. basically that SOS sms says that i'm royally fucked. big fat time -.- what is it with me and _______. i swore never to get involved in something like that. and here i go again. bloody hell. i refuse to let myself do that no matter how much i want to. and i don't know if looking at all that is going to make me feel worse or reinforce my will. blearghs. i'm not making sense, but i just need to get it out. its giving me such a headache, and unncessary trouble.

sighs. on another note, i just got back from fcuk. which was really really very fun (: abit like orientation in j1, just without that awkwardness. nai rocked (: my og. haha. we were super enthu, but all this enthu-ing and RUNNING (yes running) around whole of sentosa has left me incredibly drained and tired.

plus that problem above, i'm physically & emotionally drained. sleep sleep sleep!

but fcuk with that my future schmates just makes me yearn for london a tad bit more (:

: can you hear the bells :: hairspray ost :

an hour more before i leave to send mel off. a few more hours before she leaves for us, and e next time i'll see her face to face is in a yr's time. of all e ppl, she's e one who i can most identify with at this point in time. we're walking parallel paths.

i'm getting very ))))))))))))))): thinking about it. i can't believe how fast 8 months have gone by.

words can't really explain everything now. so i'll just leave you with this.























Eight years later
Time goes by fast
Got my memories
And they will last
I try to keep it simple cause I hate goodbyes
I try to keep it simple by telling myself that

I, I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I could say
But words get in the way so
We're not together
I will remember you
I will remember you

We're a picture in my mind
And when I wanna find you
I just close my eyes
You'll never be that far from me
So don't say goodbye cause
You'll never be that far from me
I'm telling myself that

I, I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I could say
But words get in the way so
We're not together
I will remember you

You were there when I needed a friend
Thank you, thank you
I never told you how much that meant
God thank you, thank you
I will remember you

And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I could say
But words get in the way so
I, I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I could say
But words get in the way so
We're not together
I will remember
We're not together
I will remember you
I will remember you

i will miss you dear. so much so much. <3

: i will remember you :: ryan cabrera :

roars. every month i update my covet/want/need list. the covet list is just getting longer and longer and longer, and not many have been cancelled off which makes me a tad bit grumpier each time i see the list. :p and after looking at the new fall-winter collections, the covet list has grown even longer again. BAHHH.

of which the new additions include: balenciaga over-sized buttons square-ish tote, chanel 2.55 in yellow satin with croc-skin sewing and a balenciaga school blazer. the blazer is love i tell you. but ppl will think i'm insane if i wear it to school, cos most uk ppl have to wear those sch blazers to school, and finally they get to leave uniforms behind in uni. then along i come wanting to wear a sch blazer. hahaha. i think i might just modify one of my blazers. cos the balenciaga blazer is something i doubt i'll ever get, unless i buy vintage 10 years down e road. but then, why would a almost 30 year old want to wear a sch blazer -.- i'm rambling nonsense. and then there's my ysl muse still lingering at the back of my mind. sighs. this is disgusting. but i know when i spend too much time thinking of getting something, i usually end up not getting it :p hahaha. i'm an impulse girl. whoopee.

surprise farewell party for mel went well tonight :D the silly girl didn't suspect a thing. hahaha. it made me really happy to see her so happy. its funny how nothing can quite make me so satisfied and happy with making mel smile. haha. its gonna be a year before i can do anything like that for her ): sighs. depressing thoughts.

plus i've got to go see my dad's sports doctor tmr. my knees are killing me. i haven't been in heels at all e past few days cos they've been hurting so bad. i think its cos i did jive last weds without my knee guard. and i've started my stretchings & dancing at home again. sighs. not good not good. i'll shoot him if he even mentions e word operation -.-

: stolen :: dashboard confessionals :
mingkie-poo's song (:

dance

got a bit depressed yesterday & today, after hearing about the level of lse dance ): i want to keep on dancing. keep on performing. i feel like i've improved so much in the past 2 years. and i want to keep that momentum going. i want to keep improving. when i watch danny, it just brings tears to my eyes. how i wish i could dance like him. i believe nothing is impossible. and i want to achieve the best i can be in dance. i don't want my dancing life to be cut off again. i cut it off in sec 1, found it again in sec 2 through rgs dance. but i never was more than average in rgs dance. lao shi barely noticed i even existed. and i lost that passion for dance. cos it seemed to me, at that time, that many of us danced just cos we needed a cca, not really cos it was what we loved to do. and yet in j1, being with my batch dancers, being with people who understand and love dance as much as i do. it made me believe in dance again.

i don't know how to quite explain to others why i love dancing so much. i've spent my whole life arguing with my parents on how i need to dance. and dance was not a waste of my time. i gave up all my free time to dance. before sentio, before amarante. i hardly went out, hardly spent time with my friends, just so i could dance the best i could. dancing is like breathing to me. it has over the years has become an intrinsic part of me, and part of my identity. all who knows me, know that dance always comes along with me. i know when i wax lyrical about dancing, some might just think 'oh here she goes again'. and most don't get why i get so happy and excited abt sytycd, or agitated when dances are horrid. its something only sincere dancers get i suppose. and when i say sincere, i mean dancing from e bottom of your heart. dancing without any other intention than to be happy.

i must say, its my two cousins, jie & raymond who know my deep darkest secrets. hahaha. and i still remember a night from last yr or is it this year (it feels like a million years ago), when raymond called me up stinking drunk & wanting to crash at my house. it wasn't particularly a high point in my life at that time, and so we both ended up drinking the night away at the balcony. drinking to be happy, drinking to forget. haha. we finished almost a bottle of vodka between e both of us. and that was the first time i think i've been really drunk. hilarious actually.

anyway, lse induction today. i found 4 fellow man u fans (: ahaha. thank goodness for celine & shibani. at least i have 2 ppl i really know there. plus there are e whole rj bunch of girls. i think e high holborners look like a fun bunch (: haha. and there's celine & nicole in law. so at least more or less covered in all areas (y) now just to get there and meet the rest. grins. i can't wait to leave damnit. but at least i have the next month to spend time with ming, the boys and the dancers.

[edit] i know we're now at quick reaching the age where health & death becomes a major issue in our families. our parents & grandparents are getting older. and i'm so afraid that one day, when i'm in london, i'll receive a phonecall telling me someone has passed. no chance to say a last goodbye. that's my biggest fear going to london. and after what happened 2 years ago, i feel like we're living on borrowed time. [/edit]

everyday i hope to find something unconditional



just finished tian wai fei xian today (((: i like gu zhuang shows. lovely lovely. huihui was saying i super slow :p ahaha. but i quite like ariel lin. and hu ge is terribly cute in the bookworm kinda way (: hahaha. cute no?

watching the show, the line 'tian xia wu bu san zhi yan xi' kept popping up all over the place. it just kinda left me in a slightly more receptive attitude towards the current situation i suppose. not that it makes me less unhappy. shrugs.

picked mingkie poo up from her law campus yesterday and went to watch a movie plus dinner. haha. i love my darling (: it was the best driving along with her and singing along to 'move along'. super super fun. haha. somehow being with ming, makes everything seem like its gonna be alright. but then listening to her talking about school, it made me a bit reluctant to leave spore. and also, part of me wished i could have continued going to school with her. laughing, eating ice cream, doing nonsense all day long. but i just need to keep reminding myself that this is the path i've long been waiting to walk on. its not going to be the easiest of paths, but i have to do it for myself, and not make choices based on where i can seek the most comfort and where is the safest. i just hope that this safe haven will always be open for me. no matter how far i am away from home..

deep down inside, i'm actually quite a traditional person. hahaha. hard to believe sometimes. but i love chinese culture, history and all the traditions & rituals that come along with being chinese. i wish i was better at hokkien/teochew. my grandmummy speaks teochew, my mummy hokkien, so i ended up with this rojak mix of hokkien & teochew. i mean i can understand when ppl speak, but when asked to speak in hokkien/teochew. i really need to think super super hard. which makes me super envious of mel and cass, who are so fluent in their dialects. at least i can say that my chinese is conversationally fluent. hahaha. thanks to hkk. grins. but ever since i decided i was going to london, i've been trying my best to learn all the traditional recipes, rituals & everything from my grandmum. i'm proud that i'm a chinese (: and i want to keep all the traditions that i grew up with, with me for e rest of my life.

: dream catch me :: newton faulkner :

[edit] WAILS WAILS WAILS ))))))))))))))): man u tied AGAIN. and my baby got redcarded!!!! WTF. bloody arse of a referee. and vidic got yellowcarded. arghs. pissed off. so manu has to plan mancity without rooney or ronaldo. fucking brilliant. [/edit]

sleepover (:

angie & i (: before e uk departure thingy


mel & i at nus rag. SUNGLASSES YO!


fishcake peace! ahaha.


THAT'S BEA AT THE BACKKKK!!! hahaha, i went just to watch her do cheerleading stunts. grins.


woohoo. xinqin's lovely arabesque. my idol (;


deb in e adorable doll dress. hahaha


nus rag


krist in front & ziying in yellow. grins.


i made a new friend :D julia!


nat day at home with ahmah (:


mummy, 2 kookoo & me!


DADDY!


nat flag (:


fighter jets!


cupcakes! vanilla & raspberry vanilla swirls (:


lemon & honey cuppies.


dinner with kal (: +sonya


me driving :D

ok. my blog is officially quiet. cos wan chee complained that i caused her comp to hang so many times :p sorry lah. haha

i'm very lazy to upload photos from today. cos i'm way too tired. but i'm staying up for e man u match ): very sad they didn't win on sat. so must cheer loud loud tonight (y)

anyway, dinner with the 04 b div tramp team (: which was the best, most supportive, loveliest team ever! haha. ie. mel, ziying, wenxin, juee, huihui, wanchee & i. i drove them from rj to town. with my 4 juniors, confirm always got alot of noise one. hahaha. its been quite a few years since we've trained together. under teo. and what a wonderful time that was. it feels so distant now. but even though nowadays their conversation topics differ from ziying + mel + mine, and half e time we have no idea who they're talking about (i could count as least 50 names coming up tonight), but yes. i love to hear them chattering (: hahaha. and there's this bond that teammates will always have. haha. reminiscing seems to be the activity of the month.

then went to haagen daaz at clarke quay to satisfy mel's icecream craving with ziying. countdown. 6 more days ): so e 3 old ones sat there talking, just like before.

super tired. only meeting mingkie-poo tmr. so at least i can sleep in. i miss my mingkie-poo. and i miss screw terribly. after reading jerrine's blog, and e rest of her gang. it reminded me of how separated 408 was into the cliques and such, yet we got along perfectly fine (most of e time) and as a class. we were the best. and when i see the other 408 cliques/gangs/groups whatever still so close. there's always this sense of regret i suppose.

roars. busy weekend ahead. i'm tireeeedddd. and i want to rest. but i've got my lse induction, lunches & dinners and running around to do.

and i'm irritated at my dad. well a tiny bit anyway, cos he's been so nice to me lately, i can't quite muster up the irritation :p haha. he refuses to let me get e ibook. he basically told me 'if you want a fashion accessory, i'll buy you a bag -.- if you want a laptop, get a one with substance'. he thinks e ibook is extremely frivolous. hrrmmmphs. and e fujitsu one that i want isn't coming out till god knows when. so its dell for me. though my dad added so much stuff & upgraded goodness knows what till its some super computer now 0_o if i lose it or spoil it. goodbye wan jun.

this is a very very long entry 0_o with e photos & all. but lastly. MY NEW FAV SONG OF E MOMENT (: it just gets me so happy.

Every time I close my eyes
It’s you and I know now
Who I am

Yea yea yea and I know now

There’s a place I go
When I’m alone
Do anything I want
Be anyone I wanna be
But it is us I see
And I cannot believe I’m fallin
That’s where I’m goin
Where are you goin
Hold it close won’t let this go

Dream catch me, yea
Dream catch me when I fall
Or else I won’t come back at all

You do so much
That you don’t know
It’s true
And I know now
Who I am

Yea yea yea
And I know now

There’s a place I go
When I’m alone
Do anything I want
Be anyone I wanna be
But it is us I see
And I cannot believe I’m fallin
That’s where I’m goin
Where are you goin
Hold it close won’t let this go

Dream catch me, yea
Dream catch me when I fall
Or else I won’t come back at all

See you as a mountain
A fountain of God
See you as as a descant soul
in the setting sun
You as the sound

I’m young
There’s a place I go
When I’m alone
Do anything I want
Be anyone I wanna be
But it is us I see
And I cannot believe I’m fallin

There’s a place I go
When I’m alone
Do anything I want
Be anyone I wanna be
But it is us I see
And I cannot believe I’m fallin
That’s where I’m goin
Where are you goin
Hold it close won’t let this go

Dream catch me, yea
Dream catch me when I fall
Or else I won’t come back at all

: dream catch me :: newton faulkner :
what a name. poor dude. but he's super hippie anyway. hahaha